Family member is pregnant

Hi my dear friends. So are you wondering who's pregnant...My brother-in-law's wife is (after 1 year of marriage). Anyway I just got to think what is the relationship called for brother-in-law's wife....I searched Google, it says nothing legally...hehe....Some say she can be referred to sister-in-law although it is not really correct....I will refer her as my sister-in-law.

I received a call from my husband yesterday saying there is a good news and my sister-in-law is pregnant. My mother-in-law informed him. It seems that she was hesitating to tell the news. Stopping here and there throughout the conversation. She even told my husband don't feel sad. He was like this is a good news, nothing to feel sad. She then told that my father-in-law was sad. My husband was shocked and asked her why that was. This is a good news right? She told that my father-in-law felt that I would be sad hearing this news. I was so touched. It is their moment to feel happy, as I know I have disappointed their feeling twice having 2 miscarriages. I did not hope for it. I always felt bad for my parents and my in-laws as I took away their happiness.

When my husband came back from work, I asked him if I should be calling my sister-in-law. He said just wait for few weeks. I was OK with it. How I felt towards her pregnancy? I am happy for her actually. I would have wished I could give my in-laws the first grandchild but it really doesn't matter. As long my in-laws are happy, I am happy too. I know that they been waiting very long for a grandchild. I will give them a grandchild just a little later. 

I had so much thinking throughout the day. I was so concern about my father-in-law. I decided to call my mother-in-law just to make sure she knows I am OK. I called and talked about my sister-in-law's pregnancy. Just a normal conversation regarding the pregnancy. I was totally myself. I felt better calling my in-law. At least they know that I am OK with the pregnancy news. I hope my sister-in-law will have a healthy pregnancy. I hope I will have my healthy pregnancy soon also. I still have my parents who are waiting for a grandchild. My father is 60 years old and my mother is 59 years. I know they are so worried that I am struggling to have a healthy pregnancy. I know my husband is also sad deep down although he does not talk about it. I really hope I can make my family members happy soon.

Massage Session 2

I went again for massage session 2 today. I will go again tomorrow. It's better to do it continuously. Today's session was good. The aunty massaged my stomach and she said now my uterus is better than my last year session. She said my uterus is fine and she asked me if my husband got his side checked. I told her his side is good. She then said hopefully you will get good news soon :-). I hope so too. She then massaged my back and continues to massage my stomach again. So I am a happy person today. One more session to go.

Traditional Malay massage (berurut)

I came down to my parent's house yesterday. I will follow my father for his hospital checkup tomorrow. Hopefully all goes well... My mother asked me if I am going for any treatment this month. I told our decision to go for IVF after my sister's wedding. My mother and my mother in law are well informed of all the treatment that I am going through. I feel sad for them as my husband and I are first in the family. Thus both side families do not have any grandchild yet. I can understand how they feel. I am just hoping for the best soon.

So since I am here, I remembered a Malay aunty (makcik) who can perform a traditional massage to improve the uterus health. I went there last year April for 1 session. That session did not go well as I had pictured in my mind. She used some oil, read some prayers and she massaged me. After she massaged, she told me my uterus was very weak. She had a very dissapointed face. I was sad. After couple of moths later, I went for a laproscopy surgery and found out there was a cyst in my left ovary. Probably that's the reason my massage session did not go well earlier.

I went there today with a positive thought. Hopefully my surgery had helped this time. She read some prayers, massaged my stomach with some oil and pressed deep into my navel. She said my uterus was fine. Yay....Was happy to hear that. She massaged few times and approved my uterus condition. Such a relieve. Then only I told her that I had a cyst removal. After that only she realized my surgery scar was still a bit visible. She asked me to come again tomorrow for another session. She wanted to massage my back. Today was a good massage session. Positive vibes ahead.

Quote for the day:

Never give up, great things will take time to happen

My feelings towards gatherings...

As we know, once we are married and we go to any family gatherings, questions like

'Are you pregnant? Any good news? Are you on family planning? Quickly get a baby. How long you've been married? Still no children? Are you going for treatment?  

is so common. I remember times when I felt sad hearing all the remarks from family and friends regarding childless topic all the time. There was once I had to go to a close relative engagement which was after 1 month after my miscarriage and D&C. There came one of my cousin happily congratulating me on my pregnancy (I did not know my mom told her). I was so fragile at the moment. I tried not to break out in front of her, collected myself together and told her my sad story. She felt bad for me. After that, I tried to avoid many gatherings unless unavoidable functions for 2 months. Days went by, months went by, and years went by..... I actually got used to all the questions from my family and friends. When they ask I just say 'Not yet. Not yet blessed'. Easy way out, just smile. I have been much stronger along the 2 years plus TTC. I could really handle their questions now. I am just used to the normal set of questions now.

We have a lot of gatherings, family functions, weddings now and then. Last Saturday, my husband and I attended my cousin's engagement. I was bombarded as usual with the normal questions. I handled it well. There was one aunty touching my stomach and asking ' Not yet ah'. I just said 'Not yet' with a smile. Another aunty asks me to keep on taking medicines. Then came another cousin asking how long married and she asked me to go treatment. I told her I was. Then came a far related grandmother. The toughest questions usually come from the oldest people. When she started to ask how long I was married, I was mentally prepared for the worst question to come. I was so surprised with what she said at last. She told me nothing to worry. No children also never mind. You have him and he has you. Just be as happy as you are now. All will be fine. WOW....That made my adrenaline pumping all the way. That was so new comment from an oldie...Her daughter told me to go for treatment and she told me it's ok to be childless. Such a refreshing comment from what I usually hear. I told my husband what the grandmother told on the way back.

I will be excited every month to TTC. Even any month fail, I will try to come out of it quickly because the sadder I am the chances to get pregnant the next month is much lower. As I have pushed my IVF to April cycle, I am starting to eat healthy and exercise to keep me fit. I hope that helps.

 

I am very positive my husband and I will be blessed soon. I do not know when but till then I will keep trying for a sunshine.

Decision Made....

I had a very light spotting on 8/2/2013. I knew my period was coming soon. So I e-mailed Dr Helena that I did my pregnancy test and it was negative. I asked her what I should do if I got my period on the holidays. After some time, she gave me a ring. She advised me to get Yasmin pills and take it from the day I get my period till 15/2/2013 and to see her on 18/2/2013. What the pills does is that it hibernates my eggs and it stops me from ovulating earlier. 

After that call, I was thinking a lot. I was not really ready for IVF since my sister is getting married next month. I want to be part of her wedding and I do not want to miss anything let it be the preparation or the function itself. During her engagement earlier, I was feeling very guilty as I was on my 2ww after IUI. My mother did not allow me to do anything that time. I do not want to feel the same during her wedding. On the other hand, my husband had his mind set up for IVF. I did not want to disappoint him as well. I asked him to get the pills first at the pharmacy. 

I had too much of thinking. Then I decided to discuss with my husband again. I told him that I don't think I will be having a stress free bed rest since the wedding is coming. I do not want the IVF to fail because I am stressed and sad. IVF is not cheap. My husband understood and decision made.

IVF Wait........

Sister's Wedding, Enjoy It......

I emailed Dr. Helena about our decision. She was OK with it. I am happy about the decision. I will have to skip 2 cycles but I am OK with it. Since April cycle will be a stress free cycle and my body and brain is clear on my aim, I am willing to skip 2 cycles. So these 2 months try naturally, who knows if we are lucky. If not IVF on April.

The below is the Yasmin pills that we got from a nearby pharmacy. It was priced at RM 66.50 but my husband got it for RM 40. I was shocked when I first saw the price on the box. Quite expensive. I will not be using these pills now. I will just keep it for now. 

What happen ??

Today is 14dpiui. My Dr has asked me to perform a HPT after 2 weeks. So....today was the day...

I woke up earlier than usual. Quickly grabbed 1 of my HPT. I was very nervous. But I was more terrified to test this time since my next step would be a huge one. I was not very clear of mind since yesterday. My instinct tells me I am not pregnant. I just could tell by how my body was responding. I knew I did not get my period since I was on Duphaston. I read yesterday that Duphaston can delay the period. I was thinking so much on IVF. I was having a thought whether to go on this month or not. I have my close relation engagement to attend this month and my cute lil sister is getting married next month. IVF needs a lot of rest and I am worried I could not help my mother with the preparation and all...The thing is my husband wants me to start IVF. True also since we have so many wedding coming soon. I can't afford to waste so many months. I was so confused and heavy headed yesterday....

So back to my story...Brought my test and hand phone to the washroom. I used Dip n Tell test. Did the test, start the timer on my hp and checked the result after 1 minute.....As I expected....

1 line only... :(

Felt blanked for a moment. I really did not know how to interpret my feeling. I remember the times when I used to cry looking at 1 line at the HPT. That days were gone I guess. It's been very long since a tear dropped looking at the result. I sat a while at the washroom, felt a bit down and then I went straight to the kitchen and make chapathis for breakfast. I had not been cooking since I did my IUI. I was seriously taking a lot of rest and hoped it would help. Looks like I am not lucky this month. I will call my clinic today and ask them what if I want to do IVF and my schedule to see the Dr.

Friends, how much rest is needed if I were to undergo IVF? When can I start to perform normal chores? Anyone has experienced IVF before, care to enlighten me? Thanks.