27 Dec 2013 (Fri) marked an important day in my
husband's and my life. We held our precious sunshine for the very first time.
All these while, it was just in our imagination. No words can describe how we
felt when we heard her for the very first time in the OT. Her cry had just
awakened us from the reality that we are not just a couple anymore; we are
parents to this beautiful little girl.
What happened on that day? I was very
uncomfortable from Monday. I had a lot
of sharp pains and I was very uncomfortable throughout the week. I really
wished I had my husband by my side at that time. I did baby kicks calculation
daily to ensure that she is fine. Moreover with all the pain, I was so worried
if she was ok in there. I couldn't sleep well the whole week. I blamed it on my
weight gain. I had gained 13 kg so far throughout the pregnancy. I waited for
Friday to come so badly because I wanted my Dr to know my condition.
Friday came. I was so anxious to meet with Dr
Subra that day. I was worried if my baby had gained weight. I was worried if my
water level had gone down. I was worried if my baby had changed position, as
earlier her head was downwards. I went to the checkup early as usual with my
parents. The clinic runs on first come first serve basis like many other
clinics. We reached there around 7.45 am. We waited for the nurses to come. As
usual had my urine and weight checked. I felt very heavy and uncomfortable. We
went for our breakfast. This was our usual routine. Go in early, get the
number, go for breakfast and wait for the Dr. We waited for the Dr. I felt so
uncomfortable sitting down. I sat, I stood up, I walked and I was so
restless.
I was happy to see Dr Subra. My name was called.
My mother and I went in. Dr asked me how I was feeling. I told him I had a lot
of sharp pains the whole week. He looked concerned. He told me, “ Let's see.” I
got on the bed and got ready for the scan. The only thing on my mind was hoping
that my baby was more than 2kg. Dr scanned and my baby was 1.9kg. Disappointed
a little. He told me that he wanted to deliver my baby safely soon. He then
checked the position. Her head was downwards. Then it came to the water level
checking. It was a bit longer scan on that. I was quiet and waiting for him to
count. He was quiet as well. Then he went to his table and made a call. As blur
as I was, I got ready and went to the Dr's table. I just sat and listened to
his telephone conversation. At first I didn't get it. Then I realized he most
probably was talking about my case as he mentioned the baby's weight was 1.9
kg. I looked at my mother. She did not realize anything. I just waited for Dr
Subra to end his call.
"Girl, you are going to deliver today".
Those were his words. "Haaaa.....Really ah Dr"? That was what came
out from my mouth. Although I was
shocked with the outcome, I was mentally OK to hear the news. He said my water
level was just 2 cm. It's not safe for the baby to be inside any longer. We
need an emergency Caesar. Actually Dr Subra was on a half day leave since it
was his son's birthday. But he said that the baby really needs to come out
today. I was feeling a bit guilty as he had to cancel his leave for me but I
was grateful to have such a wonderful Dr. He told me he contacted Dr Syed who
will be my baby's pediatrician. He then told me that most probably the
operation will take place after 3pm. But I will need to admit immediately. He
quickly filled up the necessary form for the operation. He told me not to tell
my husband that I will go in for Caesar and just tell him admitted for
observation so that he will not rush from Raub. He said even if my husband was
not around, we will still take the baby out.
I came out from the clinic. My mother went to
tell my father about the news. I called my husband and told him that Dr said I
have to deliver today. He paused making me wonder if he heard me. Then he said,
"What?” I repeated myself and told
him my water level was only 2cm. I remembered clearly the next statement from
him was, "How come you telling like you going for shopping or
something". Hehe. True enough. I was very calm at that time. I just told
him not to rush.
I went downstairs, made my deposits and got to my
room, changed to my OT gown. I waited patiently for my husband. Around 1
o'clock, he arrived. I was so relieved that he will be there with me to welcome
our daughter. Around 3 o'clock, nurses wheeled my bed to the waiting area near
the OT. There was a man, a grandmother waiting for their turn. Around 4 o'clock
I was wheeled in the OT. The anaesthetist
asked me to bend forward to put a jab at my spine. I was numb halfway after
that. I can feel a bit when they inserted the urine bag. After that, Dr Subra
came in. He greeted me and my husband. A cloth was in front of me to cover me
from looking at the procedure I guess. As I was talking to my husband, I missed
the procedure where they cut my stomach. I could see a reflection of what was
done through a small mirror above me; I saw a lot of fresh red blood. The anaesthetist told my husband to stand
up and see. I know the moment that we have been waiting for will be here
anytime. I just prayed I will hear her cry when she is out. I looked at the
mirror above. I saw a beautiful tiny little angel being pulled out from my
tummy. And there it was the loudest cry ever. Phewww....I was relieved. It was
4.18 pm. Even the nurse said that she was very noisy. My sunshine was taken
away very quickly. After few minutes, the nurse brought her back and asked if
my husband wants to carry. He was scared to carry a tiny little girl. I can see
it from his expression. He took her for the very first time until a nurse said
he doesn't looked confident carrying the baby. Yes, she was small. Then the
nurse held her near me. I gave a kiss on her tiny little face. The nurse put
her to breastfeed. Since I had flat nipple, baby had a hard time. Then nurse
took her for observation. I was praying she will not need to be in ICU.
I was shivering a lot. I just wanted the Dr to
finish stitching me as fast as he could. After the Dr was done, he shook my hands
and congratulated me. The nurses dressed me up. I had to wait again outside for
observation. They took my pressure now and then. I was shivering badly. A nurse
gave me an extra blanket but it was not as helpful as I thought. I was still
shivering. I asked the nurse if it was normal. The nurse confirmed it was
normal as I have lost some blood. After that, nurses came to wheel me back to
my room. As I came out, I saw my family members and my relatives. I was waving
to each and everyone. There were 14 of them altogether. I felt like a queen
waving left and right. Hehe.
Nurse told me that my baby is kept for
observation. They will bring her around 6.30pm. We waited anxiously for the
baby. All my family members were so excited when the nurse wheeled her in. She
was a 1.86kg baby. Such a fighter she is. She was not required to stay in the
NICU. That's my unforgettable day in my life. A day to cherish for the rest of
my life. I am actually typing this entry while waiting for her to scream for
her milk. Hehe. I am enjoying my sleepless nights taking care of my precious
little sunshine. Can’t wait for her to be big enough to tell her story how we
manage to conceive her.
Friends, I created this blog mainly to let those
who are trying to conceive have a slight idea what to expect during the
infertility treatments. Now my heart is divided. Whether I should stop blog walking
or I should continue blogging about a life of a premature (preemie) baby. Will
let you guys know very soon.
